Prints and patterns assault innocent bystanders on a regular basis. They stare their victims in the face and laugh. They know they are strewn about in no particular fashion. They are there to cause anxiety. Rows and rows, shelves and shelves of them. . . laughing, staring, twinkling. . .
These things drive me crazy, they cause me over-stimulation and much anxiety. What printed patterns assault me on a regular basis the cute reader asks? None other then the birght, unorganized prints and patterns that are at discount retail clothing stores. I shall now name the criminals: Ross Dress for Less, Winners, Designer Depot, Burlington Coat Factory, TJ Maxx. . . or almost any store like unto it.
I can only shop these places when I am with a seasoned vet, as on my own I simply cannot endure. I need the direction of another human being to pull me along to the hangers that really matter. When left alone something happens inside of me that makes me short of breath, dries my eyes out, and sucks all the moisture from my fingertips. I have no freaking idea what I want or even what I went there for. And can I be blamed? No. What with the Jr section screaming out: "I am the only cool clothes here, you want me, buy me", I am quickly convinced that I have no choice but to wear striped cable knit sweater dresses with brightly printed hoodies and purple no-feet tights for the rest of my life. While that doesn't sound so bad, just picture yourself in it.
The only redeeming quality those stores have is the kitchen section. If I don't get too wound up while wading through all the crap that is the clothes they sell, I can usually bring myself to have a calm experience among the pots, the pans, and the leftover Easter decorations from last year. Also, their socks and scarfs- I can usually handle those sections okay (on a good day).
I know others love the experience these stores bring. I need others like that in my life. I need you to help me get to the good stuff. Please come shop with me... my brown paper bag seems to be giving out on me these days.
2 woot-woots!:
Hey remember when we went to Ross our freshman year. That was a lot of fun. I remember buying way to much stuff that I didn't need. I agree with your post though. I have to totally be in the mood to brave these type of stores. Takes a lot to sort through all of it. ps how did your sister weekend go?
Oh goodness me! You have put into words the feeling I often get when I walk into these stores. You really never know what you are going to get. plaid polka dot, horizontal and vertical stripes all smashed together..... breath...... anyway, the point is, that I understand. And I too avoid the "junior section" at all costs!
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