the barrier

I keep trying to find deep meaning in what I do, but it's just not coming. Granted, I am new at work- I'm still learning how everything works. I think that no matter what my job was, compared to what I used to do (missionary work), no matter what I did, the job would seem hollow. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy my new job as an ophthalmic assistant in training...it's just different.

If you remember, I had this same problem at the Thai restaurant, (ps- I'm still working there just v. part-time because I think that my boss...gasp...doesn't think I'm that cute) I just felt ignored. I thought that once I moved out of the "serving" industry I would meet job satisfaction. To me, job satisfaction is all about the relationships formed with others. Wouldn't you agree?

At my current job I try to form relationships with my patients, but there always seems to be something keeping me from my patient. For instance, bad breath, tardiness, hearing impairments...the list goes on. Or maybe it's just that I see these people for a max of 30 minutes and I am always chasing the clock to get done as fast and efficiently as possible. My link to the people seems to get lost in paper work and the choice between lens "one or two". I just want to sit down and chat with them..ask them about their kids, their latest tour bus vacation...but no. I can only ask them "which is better, one or two?" Not so fulfilling.

You may think I'm going about this all the wrong way. I know...get an in with your co-workers. I try, but everything is just so surface level. And when we do all get together the only thing we really talk about is eyes! No one will tell me about their kids or spouses or hobbies. Maybe they'll open up, I mean I have only been there for a few weeks. I really do like the people I work with too. Lots of them are vegetarians which fascinates me to no end. So I'll keep trying with the co-workers...but the patients...most of them can barley even hear me. sigh.

On a lighter note- I just went on a date and as soon as we sat down at the table he said in a hushed voice, head tilted to the side and looking off in the distance "my favorite food is cheese...any kind of cheese".